By definition, baggage is defined as, an occurrence in which someone is still experiencing the residual emotional effects from past situations or relationships. Because baggage derives from unresolved emotional experiences, it’s also packed with anxiety, mood swings, and codependency. Dragging these negative emotions into a new relationship can easily damage a potentially successful connection if left unresolved.
For example, I remember dating a guy who became uneasy, and weird when he found out I was going out of town for a few days. When I asked if he would take me to the airport, he said yes. So when it came time to take me to the airport, he got really strange, and accusatory, and making comments like.” He began making comments like, “how do I know you’re actually going out of town?“ And “you may be just saying that so you can get a break.” Newsflash, I would have told you if I needed a break. I wouldn’t pretend I was going out of town just to get away, we just met. Sheesh!!!OK, back to the story. So he couldn’t answer any questions regarding his behavior, or the hypocritical comments, so it was just an awkward hang that day. Thankfully, I made it to the airport. When I got on the airplane, it’s a 3 1/2 to 4 hour flight to California, and I begin to think about the conversations we had about his previous relationships. And wha la! I remember the one about a lady he dated, and she told him that she was going out of town, but when he called her via phone , she didn’t answer, nor did she respond to his texts or voicemails, so he drove to her house to see if she was OK, and was taken aback to find that she was there the whole time, with someone else. So when the time came for me to go out of town, I was presented with his baggage..
The previous example confirms that this guy was clearly not ready for a relationship, nor had he processed the emotional injury he endured. The mere assumption that I would present him with the same issue was the perfect example of “baggage.”
Let’s be clear, everyone carries baggage in some form or fashion, and not just to the airport. Some people’s baggage may be lighter, smaller, or less difficult than others, however, it’s still baggage. The goal is to evolve from your baggage prior to beginning a new relationship.
The purpose of the baggage is designed for your emotional maturity. One way to remove baggage, effectively, is to except the experience, take note of the lesson, then peacefully and willingly drop it in the black hole. As they say, learn to forgive, but we don’t always forget.