Meeting a potential love interest is very exciting. And when we meet “the one,” it’s truly a beautiful thing. Two ways to ensure that we’ve truly have met “the one,” are spiritual discernment and a list.
Spiritual discernment is defined as listening and responding to Divine guidance. It’s acknowledging that feeling you get when you come in to the presence of someone and you sense some thing is not quite right, or you may not feel as comfortable around certain people or in certain places. For the specific bible reference, 1 Corinthians 12:10
“ And to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues.”
The other option we can use is a list. I chose a list because we are all uniquely created and we all have different desires and preferences that we’d choose. Also, when it comes to choosing that special one, that list can be very long if we are honest and very specific in what we’d like to have. I remember my mom telling me to write down all the characteristics I’d love to have in a husband. She said there is power in writing things down. I do believe in the manifestation process and making your list also gives you an idea of what not to choose.
However, sometimes we do miss the mark and make exceptions to our list, which makes us vulnerable and easily bamboozled, or bewildered by a handsome, charismatic smooth talking narcissist. Which is one of the most toxic relationships there is. They are considered as masters of manipulation because the core of their existence is to reel you into their lives by presenting themselves as your prince charming or soul mate, but in reality, they are like wolves in sheep’s clothing.
By definition, a narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. In other words a person who thinks the world revolves around them and you should be delighted to be in their presence. Since we’re on the subject of lists, below I will provide six characteristics of a narcissist.
- Lack of empathy. By definition to lack empathy is the inability to share and understand the feelings of others. That means there is no way a narcissist is considered patient or kind because they could care less about what you’re thinking, feeling or going through. In fact, narcissists are only concerned about issues of others if they are directly affected. For example, If you are married to a narcissist and you both share household expenses, and you lose your job because the company is going out of business. There are going to be some problems in the household, because the narcissist has to work harder to continue living that lifestyle. Meanwhile, you will not hear the end of it until you find another job.
- Grandiosity. Narcissist are known for being a show off. They love to boast about what they have or had. They are also proud of their achievements so you will find them constantly talking about their past achievements, relationships, work status, etc. Whether this information is true or not, they will go on and on about how they are the best of the best and in the same vein, they envy all others who are truly humble and successful.
- Superficiality. In this instance, narcissist can be very shallow, and materialistic. They only have a surface level of interest for others as they are sincerely intrigued with external beauty and success, such as the make and model of your car, the neighborhood you live in, the designer clothes you wear, etc. They’re not coming from a fashionable perspective, but more in a judge-mental type of way. And if you don’t carry that designer package, you will be easily overlooked and dishonored.
- Narcissistic rage. In other words, and adult temper tantrum. Defined as a range from intense outbursts in sudden fits of anger to passive aggressiveness such as the cold shoulder, or resentment. Because they are easily angered, this behavior typically occurs for the most minuscule issues in all existence. Narcissists tend to blow things way out of proportion because they are truly self-seeking individuals who will completely behave like a two year old throwing a temper tantrum in Walmart for not getting the piece of candy they want.
- Entitlement. Narcissist feel like they have a supreme right to do as they please and a right to specific privileges. Because they think they are better than anyone else in the world, they can do no wrong. But they are wrong – a lot. So when you call them out on it, trust and believe; they keep a record of your wrongs, and will gladly toss them at you as a friendly reminder.
- Deceitful. It’s unfortunate when you are entangled in a narcissist web because you don’t realize how deceitful they are until a few weeks or months in the relationship. You hope your companion does not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth, but this is not a popular characteristic of a narcissist. That explains why studies have shown that narcissist typically have multiple relationships running simultaneously on a regular basis.
There are several types of toxic relationships that exist. I actually specialize in narcissistic relationships and strive to empower and enlighten others on some of the characteristics . Given just a few of of narcissist traits, all of them are the complete opposite of what Love is, as it is written in :
1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 7
At the end of the day, when we talk about of Love, we know, “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.”
And for those who don’t quite know where to start writing their list, to manifest “the one,” you can all ways rely on:
1Corinthians 13: 4 – 7
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.